New Yorkers have endless opinions on restaurant food, and the people who deliver it to our tables. But what do the waiters, waitresses and bartenders think about us, the pesky orderers with countless questions and annoying allergies? We went behind the scenes at New York City’s fine dining establishments to answer this question—grilling a trio of restaurant staffers about what it’s really like waiting tables and tending bar. Janine, Jacob and Jenna (not their real names) spill the beans to our host, Rex Collective of multimedia collaborative The Recollective, about horny customers, picky eaters and bad tippers.

Some of the behind-the-scenes stories we heard were just too good not to draw out. ”Secretly Sober” is Jenna’s account of one customer’s particularly strange behavior on a slow Tuesday night.

Producers Jeremy HeltonNina Porzucki and Carl Scott are members of The Recollective, a multimedia collaborative that produces projects for the web and radio.

Gigi Rose Gray is an illustrator, designer and overall image maker, born, bred and working in New York City.

Music credits: Hola Hola Bossa Nova, by Juanitos & “Maiden Voyage,” by Jazz at Mladost.